Sunday, February 29, 2004

hey everybody. whats up. so frank called last night. i don't know when. i had taken a sleeping pill cause i was too upset or worried to sleep. i have to get my sorry butt outta bed at 5 in morning tomorrow so i took another one. last time though. i really don't feel like being addicted to sleeping pills. *yuck* umm yeah i don't know whats wrong with me but i really miss frank. i got my pictures developed and just looking at all the times i caught him all goofy or sleeping cute. i dunno things are just getting to me. thank god My "P" is over. i fucking hate that thing i can't think straight i get overly emotional. it is rediculious. buggs the crap outta me. and it causes problems in my relationships. grr.

Saturday, February 28, 2004

hey peeps. frank is MIA since last night i hope he is okay. i cut my hair all chort again. tomorrow becky is going to color it for me. and i am really tired...not much else to say. later

Sunday, February 22, 2004

my mom went psyco the other day. but i cleaned the bathroom so thats okay now. she made breakfast this morning. and i missed it casue frank said he was going to make breakfast...and he didn't. :( his mom made hamburgers. i'm going to go chill with becky soon. were denny's ing it up. its really great to talk to her again. later

Wednesday, February 18, 2004

okay haven't updated in a while i know. and those last few were pretty scary. but mentally i'm fine. jon is still an ass and has officially dissapeared. his grandma answered the cell when i called. wheather or not jon was actually not there is up for debate. do i care? not really. i'm to feed up to care. i'll get his sorry ass. i haven't made any threats but i'll start if i have to. damn it biatch

Friday, February 13, 2004

you know you have friends and boyfriends to suport you emotionally when your down and out. when they come through its like wow. your whole day brightens and it just doesn't seem too bad. but when they don't come through its...its that much worse becasue then. then your are being stabbed in the back by those that call you friend. you know a hug goes a long way. and when your pain is underestimated or shrugged off as insignificant...that means you are insignificant and that sucks too. i don't know. i just felt so alone last night. so lost. i just want to be done over end of story. i'm sick of dealing with it. is it just me that no one knows what to say to me to cheer me up, help me get through this? or do i depend on those that i care about too much. i don't really know the answers...no one does. but it makes me want to re-evaluate the relationships i do have...i mean if i am alone..why fake it with fake friends.

Joe...this doesn't apply your an awesome friend.

Thursday, February 12, 2004

alcohol...it numbs the pain till tomorow. lets you forget how fucked up your life is. lets you imiagine you have friends that care. lets the tears fall dry and silent. lets your world become perfect. hide in it. revel in it. i really need more alcohol that after shock shit burns.
So I trusted you and now what
I can’t believe I was so god damn blind
You were just using me
congratulations I feel used
I wish I had you in front of me now
see what you’ve done
But you’d only live long enough
To understand
Then I’d rip out your guts
Shove them down your throat
Let you choke on your black insides

you know people really suck. i'm so god damn sick of being stood up and blown off that i could scream. for all that i've done for people or rather one person and this is the kind of treatment i get. wtf? thats all i really have to say. wtf did i ever do to that son of a bitch except everything last god damn thing he asked. i'm so done its not even funny.
so yea positive response from the beckster. finally got a hold of that ass Jon fro my god damn money...i swear i was going to haul off and hit the fucker. at least get him fired. lol jk anywho i'm bored so i think i'm gonna play some yahoo pool

Wednesday, February 11, 2004

umm yeah so what do you do when your best friend of five years sends you an e-mail saying she doesn't hate you...i mean does that mean she wants to talk? or get together? or is she just clearing the air? i am really tripping here. but i have an e-mail ready to sned back to her...but ehh waiting a little bit before i send it...digestion time u know?

Tuesday, February 10, 2004

so i wandered into the kitchen and my mom had the great idea that i should make cookies...so i did. chocolate chip cookies. and they turned out a little flat. not so great tasting. at least i didn't burn them

create your own visited states map
or write about it on the open travel guide

okay i just got a fucking parking ticket in the god damn mail for park or stand on cross walk!?! Chicago is fucked up and i only blocked a whole 6 freakin inches of the damn side walk. grrr!!! 50 bucks? i don't think so. arg. i hate chicago. build some freakin parking already. just because i was in the mexican ghetto doesn't mean that they don't deserve parking...i don't care if they couldn't read the signs either. i'm sooo pissed. later

Friday, February 06, 2004

Cold= snow shovel fight + bigger younger brother + Snow mixed with hair dripping down the back

yes... yes i got schooled and shower in the same snow fight
hey...i look like i've been abused...really really big hickies on my neck...a few bite marks...i think i have a bruise on my breast...yeah umm...but it was fun. so that counts for something right?

Thursday, February 05, 2004

hi. i'm sad, Snuggles is getting sick. he doesn't feel good and i feel bad cause he feels bad and its just a vicious cycle!
what is it about snow that scares people? so what if my brakes are bad...i couldn't stop on snow even if i had cross drilled vented rotors...if my shitty tires are slipping nothing short of a curb or another car is going to stop me. sides...i've driven through worse...(i think that might be a good motto for life)

Monday, February 02, 2004

Hey ya'll
"Something bout those little pills/the pills/the thrills/ they yeild until they kill a million brain cells/ something about those little pills"
yup i think i like techno...even when i'm not dancing...aint that scary

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